We now entered the hardest and probably longest part of our adoption...waiting for a referral. We are officially finished with our homestudy. I will get the completed report in a few days. This is good because I need the paperwork to start apply for grants and loans. And although the waiting is no fun, I have plenty to do to fill my time.
First of all, I have to finish our profile book. We have to put together 20 pages of pictures and information about ourselves. That is a big job!! If I were to give someone advice on how to do this, here are the steps I would give them:
1. Google profile book and review other ones out there.
2. Write down ideas for pages by looking at sample books. Our agency also gave us some ideas.
3. Make a folder on your desktop for each page. For example, I have a folder title "Our pets," "Our home," "Marriage," etc.
4. Start looking through your pictures, which should mostly be digital, and copy good ones into the appropriate folder.
5. Find a program, like Shutterfly.com, that you want to use to make your book. I'm not sure about other programs, but one thing I really like about Shutterfly is you can turn your book into a .pdf to send to your agency to approve it before you get it printed.
6. Now all you have to do is design each page and add the pictures from your folders. This part takes the longest.
Right now I'm almost halfway finished with putting all the pictures in the book. After that, I will add text to each page. Here is a list of the pages I'm doing:
Dear Birthmother letter
Timeline
Dating and Marriage
Monkey
Boogie
Our Home
Baby's Room
Our Community
Our Pets
Pasture's Family
My Family
Church
Friends
Vacations
Holidays
Fun Activities/Hobbies
Trying to sum each of those things into one page is almost impossible.
Now for the exciting news!! We have a potential match. It is actually a lady who I have mentioned before in this post Rollercoasters. I will call her Birthmother A. We were told about her originally on March 7. At that time, all we knew was that she wanted an open adoption, and she did not know what she was having. A little later, as you also know from the previous post, we were told about a second mother, I will call Birthmother B. Birthmother B was due April 16. However, our agency felt that she was unsure of her decision to make an adoption plan, so they put the adoption on hold. After several days of not hearing anything I found out that Birthmother B decided to keep her baby. Also at that time I learned that the agency had lost contact with Birthmother A.
Late last week I found out that Birthmother A had contacted the agency again and wanted our information. I'm sure our agency had mentioned us in the past. We found out that she is having a baby boy and is due in early August. She lives very close and would like to have updates and annual visits. So, now I am in a rush to get our profile book finished so she can look at it!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Yard Sale Fundraiser
When I embarked on this journey of a yard sale fundraiser, I had no idea how successful it might be. Even though the economy isn't great, I figured people still have stuff they want to get rid of. As many times as I've taken a load to Goodwill, I hoped that others had those sort of things lying around. As always, God's plans and provisions are better than I could imagine. We had many of our friends and family give us a bunch of stuff. We got lots of clothes, kitchen items, and home decor. We even got bigger items such as a couch, recliner, tv, coffee makers, printer, and cameras (including one never used). Everyone was so generous, I can't even begin to thank them!
I thought the day would drag on, but it went rather quickly. I enjoyed spending time with husband, our girls, friends and family that stopped by, and meeting new people. Imagine introverted me, actually starting to enjoy talking to strangers! I guess I'm starting to settle into being a pastor's wife.
We passed out these flyers to most of our customers to give them an idea of what we were doing. I love to get the word "adoption" out there.
Oh, and I'm sure you want to know how much we made.... $670.30 !! Pasture and I were both shocked and ecstatic about that amount. I was so pumped after that sale that I couldn't take a nap, even after 3 hours of sleep the night before. I know the world is ending!! (I LOVE naps by the way)
I thought the day would drag on, but it went rather quickly. I enjoyed spending time with husband, our girls, friends and family that stopped by, and meeting new people. Imagine introverted me, actually starting to enjoy talking to strangers! I guess I'm starting to settle into being a pastor's wife.
We passed out these flyers to most of our customers to give them an idea of what we were doing. I love to get the word "adoption" out there.
I wanted to share with you some of our fun moments and God moments!
- A lady and her teenage daughter looked around and didn't find anything they wanted. After they went to their car, the daughter returned to give us a $2 donation. Thank you, whomever you are!
- A man that was visiting from Florida, bought the recliner. Pasture got to help him and his friends take it back to his house in his pickup. I love seeing people's faces when you go above and beyond service they expect.
- Twice people talked us down from our prices, and then felt bad and refused to pay anything but sticker price.
- The girls were SO good and even talked to many customers. For those of you who know how shy they can be, that is a miracle.
- A friend of the family stopped by just to give us a donation.
- Friends stopped by just to say hi. Friends stopped and bought stuff I know they didn't really need. And friends stopped by to help price and clean up!
- We got to see people we don't get to see very often.
- The girls picked out some high dollar toys to sell. Which makes up for what they bought! They only spent about $.50. And they refused to take those items for free. As they said, "They want to make money to get their baby brother." I love that they are just as excited and Pasture and I.
- A lady stopped by, who we found out her son was a pastor. She wanted Pasture's information to share with him.
- A while back I had gathered old or broken jewelry. I had it in a bag to take to someone who buys gold. I've never gotten around to it. Wouldn't you know, a lady stopped by that buys gold. In a bag of about 7 items, there was a tiny gold bracelet that earned us $25!
- We got to meet several neighbors we didn't know.
So again, those who donated items, and those who spread the word, you provided us with more than just money, you provided us with lasting memories that someday we will share with our son.
Here are some fun pictures from the event.
The family, early in the morning. (Well for the girls. I got up at 6am, they slept until 9).
Many of the items that we sold. It doesn't look like much but it really was. And everything isn't in these two pictures.
Our donation jar. Total at the end of the day $49 !
The famous recliner.
As soon as Monkey saw this, she had to have it! Whoever donated it, you made this girl's day. And of course she bought it out of her own money.
More stuff. And Boogie had been eyeing this SpongeBob the moment we got it. She decided to buy it herself. And she said, "I've been waiting years and years for this!"
The girls' high dollar items. I was so proud of them! Not a single whine or tear for selling these. They can't wait for a baby brother!
Monkey even set up the dollhouse to make it look fun!
And look at this hot guy on this couch. Any takers on the couch? We still have it.
I'm going to keep saying Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It was an awesome day!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Rollercoasters
I knew adoption was going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. And that is just what it has been. Thankfully, God has granted me peace throughout this process, so the lows aren't that low. I know that God has a plan, I know that in the end, no matter how long, we will have a baby.
My desire of this blog was to be very open with you. I want this blog to be informative but mostly educational. For those of you who want to adopt, I want you to know our story, and what I know. When I read adoption forums, I read over and over, potential adoptive parents, not telling anyone their progress. They are too afraid of the pain if things don't work out, which happens often. If that is how they need to cope, then I applaud them for protecting themselves. I, however, want to share. I want to share our joy and pain. I want you to know about it so you can pray. I want you to know about it so you can learn.
Despite what I have heard, our homestudy was painless. There was a lot of paperwork to gather, but it was fairly easy to obtain. The interviews weren't difficult, either. The twenty pages of background information that we had to answer, was the most painful (for me because I hate writing--so you see the pain I'm experiencing right now).
The emotional rollercoaster began at our last homestudy visit. Our social worker shared with us a specific situation. This is when your emotions got involved. Before this, you can only guess how long, what the birthmother will be like, where she'll live, when she's due, if the baby is healthy, etc. But it becomes very real, when that information is given to you. At our last homestudy visit, our social worker told us about an expectant mother. She said she lived in Georgia and wanted a very open adoption with the potential adoptive parents coming to her prenatal doctor visits. However, at that point she didn't know what gender the baby was. Since we want a boy, we were excited about the prospects but cautious.
That conversation was on March 7. Since then we hadn't learned much more about the situation except the mother's name. Last week, I was told that she was supposed to find out what she was having. But I still haven't gotten any updates. For me, the waiting is the hardest.
Then Monday night, we got some exciting news. I received an email from our social worker letting us know that she wanted to present a case to us. She said that the expectant mother lived within hour of us and was due April 16!! I have not been able to fall asleep at night for the last two nights because I am so excited! I even ran out and bought an outfit to bring the baby home in. I know that might be early, but I figured the outfit will be good for several months, and if we don't have a baby by then, I can take it back.
As with the ups, there are downs...I got an email today, that the above situation is on hold. I don't know what that means, and I don't have any more information that that. So as we continue to wait, we pray. We pray for those to expectant mothers. We pray for those babies. We pray God guides our steps down the right path. And we thank God for this experience, because it is amazing, even with the lows. And we thank God for all our friends and family praying along with us.
Here is the outfit I bought. Can't wait to put a baby in it!
My desire of this blog was to be very open with you. I want this blog to be informative but mostly educational. For those of you who want to adopt, I want you to know our story, and what I know. When I read adoption forums, I read over and over, potential adoptive parents, not telling anyone their progress. They are too afraid of the pain if things don't work out, which happens often. If that is how they need to cope, then I applaud them for protecting themselves. I, however, want to share. I want to share our joy and pain. I want you to know about it so you can pray. I want you to know about it so you can learn.
Despite what I have heard, our homestudy was painless. There was a lot of paperwork to gather, but it was fairly easy to obtain. The interviews weren't difficult, either. The twenty pages of background information that we had to answer, was the most painful (for me because I hate writing--so you see the pain I'm experiencing right now).
The emotional rollercoaster began at our last homestudy visit. Our social worker shared with us a specific situation. This is when your emotions got involved. Before this, you can only guess how long, what the birthmother will be like, where she'll live, when she's due, if the baby is healthy, etc. But it becomes very real, when that information is given to you. At our last homestudy visit, our social worker told us about an expectant mother. She said she lived in Georgia and wanted a very open adoption with the potential adoptive parents coming to her prenatal doctor visits. However, at that point she didn't know what gender the baby was. Since we want a boy, we were excited about the prospects but cautious.
That conversation was on March 7. Since then we hadn't learned much more about the situation except the mother's name. Last week, I was told that she was supposed to find out what she was having. But I still haven't gotten any updates. For me, the waiting is the hardest.
Then Monday night, we got some exciting news. I received an email from our social worker letting us know that she wanted to present a case to us. She said that the expectant mother lived within hour of us and was due April 16!! I have not been able to fall asleep at night for the last two nights because I am so excited! I even ran out and bought an outfit to bring the baby home in. I know that might be early, but I figured the outfit will be good for several months, and if we don't have a baby by then, I can take it back.
As with the ups, there are downs...I got an email today, that the above situation is on hold. I don't know what that means, and I don't have any more information that that. So as we continue to wait, we pray. We pray for those to expectant mothers. We pray for those babies. We pray God guides our steps down the right path. And we thank God for this experience, because it is amazing, even with the lows. And we thank God for all our friends and family praying along with us.
Here is the outfit I bought. Can't wait to put a baby in it!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Too many updates!
I am not going to give you all the updates, because this post would last forever. I will give you some. And hopefully, I will have a super exciting post coming soon!! I can't believe I haven't posted since February! Time has passed so quickly.
Here are a few updates:
February 18--We had our second homestudy interview. We were interviewed separately this time. I was asked about childhood, my relationship then and now with my parents, my education and work, my parenting style, etc. Matt was asked very similar questions. All went very well. Our social worker has continued to say that she feels that we view adoption correctly. We know this is a human life. We are not consumers, we are potential parents. The path can be somewhat planned, but so much depends on God's work in the process. You may seek a healthy baby, but that's no guarantee. You may want things to go according to your wishes, but until that baby is legally yours, his/her birthmother has the right to choose the path.
February 20--Bad visit with the urologist. I have a condition know as Medullary Sponge Kidney. The best I can explain, is my kidneys like to make stones. I always have tons of them. And almost all of them pass without me knowing. If you want to know more details, google it. But at this visit the doctor found a stone larger than 1 cm. Which is huge!! So I had to schedule a lithotripsy. The worst part is that means we are out $3000-4000, which could have gone towards the adoption. I don't know why this happened right now, but I know God has a plan.
February 26--I had my lithotripsy. All went well. The stones where broken up into passable pieces. I was able to get off my pain medication in two or three days.
March 6--We had our finally homestudy visit. This visit was in our home to check the safety of our home. Our social worker was given a tour of our home. She checked for fire extinguishers and smoke detectors. She asked where we keep medicine. She asked about our neighborhood, our interaction with our neighbors, and our community. We talked some more about the rest of the process, and what Pasture and I are looking for. Then she interviewed our house guest. Mostly, she asked him about his criminal history (or lack of), etc. Seems kind of silly to have to ask each of us those questions, when they do thorough background checks. I guess they want to give you a chance to explain anything. Right before the visit was over, our social worker interviewed the girls. She asked them what they did for fun, their favorite toys, what they thought about getting a baby brother, etc. We always say that once you pull Monkey's string, you can't get her to stop talking. And that was true this time. She wanted to explain all about her Monster High dolls, even offering to go get them and show her.
Unfortunately our homestudy is still not complete. After our last interview, we still had a few pieces of paper to submit. We had to verify Pasture's job, get our final reference letter, and show that we were on city water and sewer. And the last bit of paperwork we are waiting on is the FBI background check from our houseguest. We didn't submit it until late, because he will be moving out soon. Our social worker said that it has to be done or she can't approve the homestudy. So we did it on March 6 and are still waiting. Apparently it can take up to 12 weeks!! Everything else is done. I will give you some more news, a recap of the money involved in our adoption, and what our next steps are in the next post!!
Thanks for all the support!
Here are a few updates:
February 18--We had our second homestudy interview. We were interviewed separately this time. I was asked about childhood, my relationship then and now with my parents, my education and work, my parenting style, etc. Matt was asked very similar questions. All went very well. Our social worker has continued to say that she feels that we view adoption correctly. We know this is a human life. We are not consumers, we are potential parents. The path can be somewhat planned, but so much depends on God's work in the process. You may seek a healthy baby, but that's no guarantee. You may want things to go according to your wishes, but until that baby is legally yours, his/her birthmother has the right to choose the path.
February 20--Bad visit with the urologist. I have a condition know as Medullary Sponge Kidney. The best I can explain, is my kidneys like to make stones. I always have tons of them. And almost all of them pass without me knowing. If you want to know more details, google it. But at this visit the doctor found a stone larger than 1 cm. Which is huge!! So I had to schedule a lithotripsy. The worst part is that means we are out $3000-4000, which could have gone towards the adoption. I don't know why this happened right now, but I know God has a plan.
February 26--I had my lithotripsy. All went well. The stones where broken up into passable pieces. I was able to get off my pain medication in two or three days.
March 6--We had our finally homestudy visit. This visit was in our home to check the safety of our home. Our social worker was given a tour of our home. She checked for fire extinguishers and smoke detectors. She asked where we keep medicine. She asked about our neighborhood, our interaction with our neighbors, and our community. We talked some more about the rest of the process, and what Pasture and I are looking for. Then she interviewed our house guest. Mostly, she asked him about his criminal history (or lack of), etc. Seems kind of silly to have to ask each of us those questions, when they do thorough background checks. I guess they want to give you a chance to explain anything. Right before the visit was over, our social worker interviewed the girls. She asked them what they did for fun, their favorite toys, what they thought about getting a baby brother, etc. We always say that once you pull Monkey's string, you can't get her to stop talking. And that was true this time. She wanted to explain all about her Monster High dolls, even offering to go get them and show her.
Unfortunately our homestudy is still not complete. After our last interview, we still had a few pieces of paper to submit. We had to verify Pasture's job, get our final reference letter, and show that we were on city water and sewer. And the last bit of paperwork we are waiting on is the FBI background check from our houseguest. We didn't submit it until late, because he will be moving out soon. Our social worker said that it has to be done or she can't approve the homestudy. So we did it on March 6 and are still waiting. Apparently it can take up to 12 weeks!! Everything else is done. I will give you some more news, a recap of the money involved in our adoption, and what our next steps are in the next post!!
Thanks for all the support!
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